DECISION MAKING OR CONFLICT IN MAKING CHOICES

Life is all about making choices. We fear to choose the wrong path and end up regretting our decisions. Our life is dependent on what choices we make. We always fear of uncertain things coming our way.

“You can’t make decision based on fear and the possibility of what might happen”

We should know how to fight and learn from our failure. We do take the wrong decisions in life but with each mistake we learn. Failures make you confident and lead you to success. We always discuss our problems and matters with our elders because they are the ones who guide us – because of their experiences in life.

 We started our journey of life when our parents, took the decision to give birth to us. A child’s decision is taken by his parents till he is capable of taking his own. For e.g.  from the small choices of what to eat, what to wear, and what subjects to study to some important ones like making career choices. The dilemma of selecting subjects , choosing the college , career making and starting with job. With all these choices there is a big responsibility which automatically brings the emotion of fear in our heart and mind.

 Decision making is deciding on one out of several possible courses of action. The drift of decision making towards polarization is a serious problem – one that can interfere with the ability to make sound decisions. Decision making is regarded as the cognitive process resulting in the selection of a brief or a course of action among several possible alternative options. It is the process of identifying and choosing alternatives based on the values, preferences and beliefs of decision maker.

When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him into the places he had never dreamed of when he first made a decision.

 Even in sports making good decisions can be the difference for you, understand how you make decisions, break it down, and improve in each area. This is the sequence of events when a football player receives the ball -

                    RECEIVE – LOOK – DECIDE – PLAY

In decision making, we sometimes choose among options based on choices of personal significance. In decision making we already know the various solutions and choices and one has to be selective. Suppose you are a very good player of badminton and getting an opportunity to play at the state level. At the same time the final exam is approaching and you need to study hard for it. You will have to choose between two options, practicing for badminton or studying for the final examination. In this situation your decision will be based upon evaluation of all possible outcomes. People differ in their priorities and therefore their decisions will differ. In real life situation we take quick decisions and therefore, it is not possible always to evaluate every situation thoroughly and exhaustively.

 From a psychological viewpoint, in considering the decisions, we must remember that different people assign different utilities to the same event; the psychological worth of the outcome varies among people. E.g. given a choice between receiving $10 now or $100, but a poor person would probably take the immediate $10. The utility of the $10 is different for the two people. In making complex ‘real life’ decisions we do not know the precise likelihoods of various outcomes; we can only make our own estimates of the probabilities. People make decisions that will maximize subjectively expanded utility. We tend to give too much credit to people we perceive to have social status known as ‘the Halo Effect’. It’s our tendency to assume that physical attractive people are smarter or nicer than they actually are. That successful people are more interesting than they actually are. That powerful people are funnier or more charismatic than they actually are.

We all have multiple paths before us. The key is in making decisions. You may not always make the right one. But, it will be your own. Choose wisely. Determine your own path. While nothing in life is risk free, some paths have clearer roadmaps than others. Craving a new path tends to involve a lot of trial and error, which can also mean greater potential for failure. But experiencing failure more often can help us change our relationships to view it as a learning opportunity rather than a verdict on our ability. The growth mindset can, in turn, make success more likely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

SELF CARE

Self care is an activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental emotional and physical heath. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Good self care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It is important to taking care your own self selfishly and unapologetically. Lets be honest. We are not good at taking care of ourselves.

 

We feel that indulging in short term pleasures is the key to self care. Self care goes deeper than that. Emotionally, we are in a state of fluctuations between denial, ignorance, optimistic biases, and occasional worries to overwhelming state of panic.

Self care is an effort of putting ourselves – our mind and our body. It varies from person to person.

ü It could be as simple as moisturizing our hands and feet before bedtime, drinking enough water.

ü Self care does not require you to take out a huge chunk of time from your busy day.

ü Taking breaks from stressful work and relaxing the mind once in a while.

ü If someone often experiences internal self criticism it could be as simple as forgiving oneself and practicing self compassion.

ü Take time off to relax and enjoy. When you make time for yourself and sufficient rest and exercise, you feel more energetic and will be able to do more – for yourself as well as for those around you.

ü If someone worries excessively about past and future (which most of us may be doing) it could be something like practicing being mindful of the present moment and appreciating it, and consciously detaching ourselves from one’s thoughts.

ü If someone excessively health conscious it may even be enjoying that one cheat meal.

 

JOB SATISFACTION

A review on growth, challenges and its effects on our mental health

Life is full of vibrant colours and experiences. The process of growing up starts right from our childhood. From the day a child is born, parents start dreaming about their kid’s future. Some of them try to live their dreams in their children. With each day of development a child crosses different stages from an infant to adolescence to being an adult. Approaching adulthood begins with high range of challenges, and a person finds himself stuck up with many pressures – of society, family, or living up his own expectation. In the process of trying to come up with all this, a person takes some steps which may crush his own interests and he ends up living a monotonous life .The first challenge a person faces is getting a job, in which, sometimes, some of his dreams are crushed; Secondly, he is not able to live up to his own expectation; Life challenges make a person passive.

In this era of competition, there is a challenge of maintaining one’s position and growing to achieve a higher position. Now a days jobs are not just your professional life; it’s more about how much you involve yourself in that job. There are many more challenges faced to maintain one’s position – politics, favoritism, bullies, time management etc.

All these things bring stress in life. A person starts feeling less energetic, unhappy, and unsatisfied with what he is doing. Challenges,  causing extreme stress and unhappiness makes him depressed. Some people get so tired of fighting that they think of quitting their lives. One needs to think about the idea of coping with stress.

 People should start enjoying their work and think about themselves. They should not forget that everyone is born for a purpose in life. Once you start enjoying what you are doing, confidence and happiness will reflect on your personality and work. Always remember it is better to be late than never. 

A REVIEW ON DISHEARTNED FEELINGS

      A REVIEW ON DISHEARTNED FEELINGS AND ITS IMPACT ON YOUR STATE OF MIND

A feeling, which many experience when they see people achieving heights of success and compare themselves to others, is very disheartening. They might have imagined themselves of being confident, proud and peaceful person but the idea of being in a state of self actualizing is on the way. When they see the reality, it is not the same as what they had thought of - they might have not imagined about doing things which they are doing at present. Maybe they are too ambitious and not able to accept rejection. All these feelings make them do so many other things which are nowhere related to their goals or the path on which they are walking on. 

Disheartenment is a feeling of bitterness, insecurity, rejection, a feeling of being unsuccessful and not wanted. In this era of competition we are constantly under social pressure, there is fear of defeat, as a result in order to achieve everything we put our hands in so many things that we end up doing nothing. There is an old saying that “too many cooks spoil the broth” and this is true. 

 We all know that life is not a bed of roses. In order to achieve something we have to lose something. So, to be successful in life you have to face many challenges. But when challenges come we get demotivated and disheartened. Instead of challenging our thoughts and feelings we end up criticizing ourselves, sympathizing ourselves, compare ourselves with the fellow mates. Though the fellow mates may also be on the same track but we feel that we are the only unlucky ones. Is this the right way of our behavior? We all come across this state of mind in our lives, when we struggle in the process of achieving our goals. Instead of challenging those situations we always give more importance to those feelings which are incongruent.

 There is a law of attraction which says that what we think is attracted towards us. If you keep on thinking about all the negative things then your mind will only respond to those feelings and will take you in the state of tension and rejection. On the other hand if you accept all those things happening in your life as a challenge and with a positive attitude you will definitely succeed in achieving your goals. A positive mind set and confidence will always reflect on the hard work you put in. Always remember that it is always we who make ourselves rise or fall. Its up to you what your preferences are, either you will sympathize with yourselves and keeps on being demotivated or cease those irrational thoughts and take action.

PARENTING

A REVIEW ON: PARENTAL ISSUES, CHILD BEHAVIOUR, AND EFFECTS ON CHILDS MENTAL HEALTH

 “ My child is weak in studies, he is not studying at all , he won’t listen to us , he misbehaves with us, he even beat us, he is not getting good grades, he used to have good grades earlier now suddenly he stared getting such low grades, he always gets complaints from his school, he never talks properly , always angry , he has started abusing us , he goes to play with other peers and end up beating and having fight , I always gets this complaint that my child never participates in class and is often quiet, I am worried about his future he is not studying at all , he is always on phone and laptop.” There are many such problems which parents have from their children.

Parents think that they have given birth to the children and provide them with all the necessary things and their duty is done. A Childs development depends on following factors:

üGive your child your time.

üKeep the home environment neat and healthy.

üShow interest in your talks.

üPlay with them.

üHelp them in their homework.

üTake them out on weekends as well as on holidays.

üTalk to them patiently when they are misbehaving.

üEncourage them in their accomplishment.

üPunish them if they do something wrong.

üSpouses should look after that they won’t start fighting in front of their children.

üEach parent plays a specific role in their child’s development. Children seek their role models in their parents, so its parents duty to inspire them with their actions and work.

üParents should make sure that their children should not spend much time on laptops and cell phones. Their time should be fixed for using these gadgets for not more than an hour.

üParents should understand that the time has changed now children have to be looked after with special care. They cannot compare their time with today's time.

Parents have so many problems with their children can they tell why is it happening? Every child is born in different family and in different family backgrounds. A child behavior is learnt from the family how his surroundings are, how he is treated by his family members all this reflects a child’s growth. We have seen the case of misbehaved children and they are always associated with their parent’s negligence. Either the spouse unhealthy relationship affects the child or lack of time given by their parents to them.  Today both the parents are working and after coming home too they don’t have clue of their children. As a result they get into bad company or habits. Some parents don’t realise the way of talking with their children.  Everyone needs to be treated with respect, even if it is elder or younger person.

Children are like seeds it depends on you how you mould them and nurture them into beautiful lotus flowers. So always makes sure what you are doing in front of your children. If you will handle them with love and care they will bloom into beautiful flowers.

SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCE ON PEOPLE AND ITS ADDICTION

There were times when addiction meant the intake of caffeine, drugs, and alcohol, but since past few years we are seeing a new trend of mobile phones which has became indispensable. In DSM -5 there is addition of few new disorders and one of them is the Internet Gaming Disorder.

Social media is addictive both physically and psychologically. According to a new study by Harvard University, self - disclosure on social networking sites, light up the same part of the brain that also ignites when taking an addictive substance.

We don’t know if we can say this era is a blessing or disguise. As on one hand we see it benefits us in so many ways and on the other hand we only see its harmful effects. From a child to an adult we can see people 24x7 on mobile phones, tablets, laptops, etc. Rather using it as a necessity people use these gadgets more to flaunt the new versions of technology to show the high standards of their living. We also see children sitting and playing games on mobile phones or play stations instead of going out and playing with their peers some outdoor games, which has a negative impact on their physical as well as mental health. Even at workplace 50% people remain active on social media which also affects the quality of work.

 Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD) now more commonly called problematic Internet use (PIU), Compulsive Internet Use, problematic computer use, pathological computer use, refers to excessive computer use which interferes with daily life. Other habits such as reading, playing computer games, or watching very large numbers of Internet videos, such as those on YouTube, are troubling only to the extent that these activities interfere with normal life. IAD is often divided into subtypes by activity, such as gaming; online social networking blogging; email; excessive, overwhelming, or inappropriate Internet pornography use or Internet shopping (shopping addiction).Opponents note that compulsive behaviors may not necessarily be addictive.

HOW COMMON THE INTERNET ADDICTION

—  Internet addiction hasn't been studied as much as other mental health conditions, so it's not known exactly how many people have the disorder.

—  But a study in The American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse found that as many as 8.2 percent of Americans may suffer from Internet addiction.

—  Other studies estimate that the disorder may affect more than 18 percent of college-aged Internet users, according to Internet Addiction: A Handbook and Guide to Evaluation and Treatment.

—  While anyone can develop IAD, the majority of people who do so are males in their teens, twenties, and thirties.

—  Some reports suggest that Internet addiction is a particularly acute problem in Asian countries.

WITHDRAWL

—  Like all addiction behaviors, IAD can lead to excess dopamine in the brain.

—  This means people with IAD effectively feel a "high" when engaged on the computer — but it also means they can feel withdrawal symptoms when they aren't online.

—  Symptoms of Internet addiction withdrawal include depression, irritability, anxiety, sweating or shakiness, insomnia, mood changes, and — in rare cases — a psychotic break with reality.

RISK FACTORS AND COMPLICATIONS

—  People who develop an Internet addiction often already feel socially isolated. They may have a difficult time creating and maintaining relationships with their peers.

—  And people with other addictions, such as to alcohol, drugs, sex, or gambling, have a higher risk of developing IAD.

—  Studies suggest that people with IAD are also at greater risk for mental health concerns, such as: Depression, Anxiety,Hostility,Psychosis,Social isolation, Impulse control problems,

Substance use disorders, such as alcoholism or drug abuse

SYMPTOMS

—  Like other addictions, Internet addiction isn't based on just an interest or hobby that someone enjoys.

—  If it's an actual addiction, it may cause one or more of the following:

—  Negative effects on your school or job performance

—  Reduced involvement with your family or friends

—  Loss of interest in other hobbies or pursuits

—  Feelings of anxiety or depression when you're away from your computer

—  When not on your computer, you spend most of your time thinking about getting back to it

—  Angry or defensive reaction when someone comments on your behavior

—  Taking steps to hide the extent of your computer/Internet use

      —  People with IAD may spend excessive amounts of time engaged in the following activities                  online:  Gaming ,Gambling ,Trading stocks ,Shopping for merchandise "Shopping" for                        relationships on dating sites ,Cybersex or pornography ,social media.

          Many of these activities can have serious repercussions if you do them to excess, such as                      relationship problems or financial consequences.

              TREATMENT

—  Corrective strategies include content control software, counseling, and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural therapy). One of the major reasons that the Internet is so addicting is the lack of limits and the absence of accountability.

—      For Internet overuse, controlled use is a more practical goal than total abstinence.

HAPPINESS

When we are happy we feel everything in our surrounding is beautiful. Life seems energetic, we want to do many things,but never implement them. New ideas, doing good at job, everyone’s appreciation makes one feel doing wonders, feeling of love for our loved ones emerge as the main purpose of our lives. But when you see the definition of happiness in a scientific way we conclude it in a manner like our neurotransmitters are electrically charged, our brains release good hormones – epinephrine , sleep is good, appetite is good. We bring out so many meanings to define happiness in many terms and those all are true.

Unfortunately,  as we see our surroundings we lack seeing such people. There is irritation, anger, frustration , anxiety , depression, guilt and so many negative feelings and thoughts happening in our brain. Our brain is never stable - always preoccupied with  many negative and unwanted thoughts. If not then we end up living in our past. Have you ever thought why all these thoughts emerge ? The answer is very simple and everyone knows but are too lazy to implement them . Yes, it has the same meaning and definition as for a common person or research says. If a person implements all these activities in his daily life  he will be away from all the negative energy one is having. These are – meditation , exercise , walking or running, playing outdoor games, socializing with people, practice smiling, planning a trip , spending quality time with family and so many more.

All these will ultimately result in changing your negative thoughts and energy into positive ones and will definitely lead you to happiness in life. It will also make you " healthy, wealthy and wise".