REVIEW ON LONELINESS, SYMPTOMS AND SOLUTIONS TO FIX IT.

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF IS GOOD
BUT OUTRANGING ANYONE
IS NOT GOOD AT ALL.
ONE IS BORN TO LIVE A LIFE
NOT TO SUFFER.

 

Loneliness is an unpleasant experience – of pain and fear.

It is described as social isolation. A state of distress or discomfort.

Symptoms of being lonely –

ü  Less happy, less satisfied

ü  More pessimistic, more depressed

ü  Tense , restless and bored

ü  Feeling of rejection

ü  Unhappiness

ü  Shy, less willing to take social risks.

ü  want to be alone all the time

ü  avoid interaction with people

ü  always feeling sad

ü  Depressed in some cases.

 

WHY THIS FEELING COMES OUT?

A person who is traumatized, his approach to life and people becomes different. Instead of encouraging the affected person, people become negative towards him and demotivate him all the time. The feeling becomes so intense that the patient finds normal things very irritating and irrelevant.

The feeling of unwantedness and of uselessness becomes intense. No one sees the suffering of the patient. The negative approach does not occur on its own, it has something related and connected to the past life he has gone through or may be still suffering. It becomes so much hard for that person to take it and wants to quit the life. There are high chances that the patient is suffering from depression or having suicidal thoughts.

Sometimes you never know that a person is lonely and is suffering so much within him as you always find him happy and playing around or working with passion. People can be alone without being lonely, or lonely in a crowd. The experience of loneliness is unpleasant and distressing.

Most common are changes in the person’s actual social relations that lead to relationships falling below the optimum level. The ending of the close relationship through death, divorce or breakup often leads to loneliness. Another example of loneliness is--  Physical separation from loved ones as when children leave home to go to college or when a family moves to a new community.

 

HOW TO FIX IT

Join a class – Whether it’s an art class, an exercise class, or a class at your local community college, joining a class automatically exposes you to a group of people who share at least one of your interests.

Get a pet – Pets, especially dogs and cats, offer so many benefits, and preventing loneliness is one of them. It can connect you with other people – walking a dog opens you up to a community of other dog walkers, and a cute dog on a leash tends to be a people magnet. Pets provide unconditional love, which can be great solution for loneliness.

Volunteer – becoming a volunteer for a cause you believe in can provide a same benefits as taking a class – meeting others, being part of a group, creating new experiences – and also brings a benefit of altruism, and can help you find more meaning in your life, both of which can bring greater happiness and life satisfaction, as well as decrease loneliness.

See a therapist - Research found people experience loneliness tend to feel more lonely than others when with other people, meaning that even when they are with other people, lonely people tend to keep their loneliness to a degree. Because of this, sometimes just “getting out there” and meeting other people isn’t enough. If this is the case for you, it may be a good idea to seek psychotherapy to help deal with feelings of loneliness, especially if you also feel symptoms of depression, such as loss of enjoyment doing things you used to enjoy. Cognitive behavioral therapy, can help you not only experience less loneliness but do more in your life to prevent loneliness, know that you are truly not alone, and there are many things you can do to feel more connected.

 

Being lonely is not a disorder, but if persists for long period becomes a problem for our mental well being. Its better to fix it on time rather than hold it for rest of your life. Life is a roller coster ride , you will experience many emotions but the best one is being happy. Try to mantain it and handle yourself with care.

PURPOSE OF LIFE

 

Once you start making the effort to “wake yourself up” that is being more mindful in your activities – you suddenly starts appreciating life a lot more – Robert - Biswas - Diener

 

A purpose consists of the central motivating aims of your life – the reason you get up in the morning. Purpose can guide life decisions, influence behavior, shape goals, offer a sense of direction and create meaning. For some people work is connected to vocation – meaningful satisfying work. Feeling that one’s life is significant, comprehensible or purposeful may be necessary for human psychology functioning.

In Indian mythology too Lord SHIVA said that every individual is born with a purpose in his/her life and that purpose has to be lived by him. The purpose of life is to understand the science of the self and get liberation from the cycle of birth and death. Every day we make choices and perform activities that we hope will bring us happiness and prevent distress. This is the basic goal of life by which we live.

We are spiritual beings who have taken physical form to form a purpose. Everyone has a special purpose in life – a unique gift or special talent to give to others and to every unique talent there are also unique needs. When we bend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our spirit. This is the goal of all goals.

Three components to the purpose of life:

Purpose of life implies our unique destiny, our place in the cosmic plan. One needs to have a vision to get success in life. Then we arrive at biggest mystery – what is meaning of our lives in the scheme of universe?  We know we have become part of cosmic plan when the universe upholds and supports us. Every person is never ending project of the universe.

Some famous thinkers of psychology also defined their meaning of life. Here is what they defined life as -

Ellis: “He took personal responsibility for your life. He stated that the best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realise that you control your own destiny.” The concept is often referred to as having internal locus of control. It refers to whether you see events in  your life as outside of your control or whether you feel that your actions can influence your destiny. People who have an internal locus of control often feel helpless, powerless and unmotivated to make changes in their lives.

 Rogers: He stated that “the good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” Have you ever been so focused on achieving a goal that you totally forgot to enjoy the journey itself ? Instead of focusing on the things that you think will ultimately lead to living a good life – having a big house, driving a nice car and going on exotic vacations, focus your attention on the everyday good things in your life. The things you learn, the family and friends you share your life with, the things that bring you happiness are the greatest indicators of happy, fulfilled life.

 Abraham Maslow:  If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.Maslow has his own theory of hierarchy of needs and he explained people life according to these needs. He explained the goal of the people is to achieve heights by reaching the state of self actualization. Individual should not think of not being capable of something they once dreamt of and stop, one should always try  their highest potential to reach that goal to feel the epitome of happiness.

 Carl G. Jung: “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning, if it were not balanced by sadness.” So happiness and sadness are both part of our lives, if you will always be happy without any struggles and ladders in your path life will be boring. You need to achieve what you want for the ultimate happiness and success. 

 Different individuals have their own meaning of life. Some are spiritually connected, others are mentally. One has to find their own way to live their purpose and walk towards wisdom.