REVIEW: PHYSICAL ATTRACTION, LOVE,
PROXIMITY AND SIMILARITY
An old saying declares that opposites
attract, and lovers are found of recounting how different they are from each
other. Physical attractiveness determines how well others like him or her. Unlike character
and personality, physical appearance is a factor over which we seemingly have
little control and it seems unfair to use it as a criterion for liking someone.
It is important that our social standing and self esteem are enhanced when we
are seen with physical attractive companions.
Research
shows the best single predictor of whether two people are friends is proximity
or how far apart they live. Student who shared an apartment were twice as
likely to be friends compared to those who were simply on the same floor.
One of the
major reasons that proximity creates liking is that it creates familiarity. The
family breeds liking – people are asked to raise photographs of unknown faces
according to how much they thought they would like the person. The lowest rate
of liking was made by those who had never seen the photograph before. The
highest rates of liking are made by those who had seen the photograph most
often. This illustrates mere exposure effect.
It is clear that if you are not beautiful or you find your admiration of
someone unreciprocated, simply finds way to be nearby. Proximity and
familiarity may just work in your favor.
In short the
old saying of opposites attracts is mostly false. Statistical surveys show that
husband and wives are significantly similar to each other not only in
sociological characteristics – such as age, race, religion, education, and
socioeconomic class – but also with respect to psychological characteristics
like intelligence and physical characteristic such as height and eye color.
Similar results were obtained in a real life field study in which separate
observers rated the physical attractiveness of members of couple in bars and
theater lobbies and at social events. Less attractive people seek less
attractive partners. They overall result of this process is attractiveness similarity:
most of us end up with partners who are about as attractive as we are.
Any time we
encounter someone new who reminds of someone who has been important to us in
our past, that sense of recognition influences our perceptions and indeed our
liking – of the new person. This is known as transference. If you want to forge
a new friendship or relationship and not merely recycle an old one, you need to
start with a new acquaintance that is like no other. And you should be cautious
when someone approaches you and says, ‘you remind me of someone’.
Love is more
than just strong liking. Most of us know people we like very much but do not
love and some of us have felt passionate attraction for someone we did not
particularly like. The concept of romantic love is an old one, but the belief
that it has much to do with marriage is more recent and far from universal.
Close relationships are said to produce self expansion – or increase our
potential abilities and resources in multiple ways. As we become close to
another person, we gain access to that person’s resources in multiple ways. As
we become close to another person, we gain access to that person’s resources,
perspectives and identities – this might include someone’s circle of friends,
cooking skills, views on politics or region or popularity more generally – each
of which can help us to achieve our own goals. People are motivated to expand
the self, the reasoning continues, not only to work more able themselves but
also because self explanation, particularly rapid expanding is exhilarating.
So falling
in love feels good, this logic suggests, because it produce rapid self
explanation. Passionate love might be terrific for starters, but the sustaining
forces of the good long term relationship are less exciting, require more work
and relationship are less exciting, require more work and have more to do with
equality than with passion.
Unfortunately, as we see our surroundings we lack seeing
such people. There is irritation, anger, frustration , anxiety , depression,
guilt and so many negative feelings and thoughts happening in our brain. Our brain
is never stable - always preoccupied with many negative and unwanted thoughts. If
not then we end up living in our past. Have you ever thought why all these thoughts emerge ? The answer is very simple and everyone knows but are too
lazy to implement them . Yes, it has the same meaning and definition as for a common
person or research says. If a person implements all these activities in his
daily life he will be away from all the negative energy one is having. These are –
meditation , exercise , walking or running, playing outdoor games, socializing with people, practice smiling, planning a trip , spending quality time with family and so many more.
