Leave it to me - Taking Control

 ‘I recognize that I have to be in control, but as long as I am, I don’t mind how difficult the task is.’

When you decide to take control of the situations and act accordingly, is resilience. The thought processes automatically start working in a manner in which you try to give all your strength to a particular work. You accept things as challenges in your life. Constant engagement with electronic devices may disconnect you from your near ones. You won’t realize that you are working as machine, doing same things, engaging with the daily hassles. You don’t know what to do and how to make changes. In tough times, you need to decide your priorities first to work on those.

Taking control means -

• Quickly turning your attention to what can be done to solve any problem.
• Focusing on the positive actions required rather than how unfair or difficult a situation is.
• Do not wait for others to sort out matters for you.
• Securing the necessary resources to get things right.
• Influencing others around to your way of thinking.
• Being a positive role model.     

For most of us, our attitudes and beliefs determine our emotions, which in turn affect our behaviour. 

When I lose control, I usually take a step back. The key is to gather the thoughts, to self communicate some positive messages. Sometimes it may also be helpful to literally remove yourself from the situation for a while.

Losing control can have a negative impact on your ability to bounce back. To keep the control, there are some activities to help that are highly effective:

   ·     Taking deep breath, counting to 10, doing some exercise.

   ·   Writing an angry email ,but not sending it.

   ·   If you have tried all this, you still can have an odd outburst.

   ·  An odd  moment of outburst  is actually healthier than bottling things up and brooding on issues for months on end.

   ·  Remember , it is important to move on.

   ·  Apologize whenever necessary- but don’t beat yourself up.

It’s a saying, ‘A second ago is history, and you can’t change it. You can only think about how to put things right now.’      

LIVING IN FLOW

 

Have you ever spent what you thought was half an hour searching the internet, only to find out afterwards that your session lasted three hours? Or opened a book shortly after breakfast and a little while later noticed that it was getting darker?

Think of the moment in your life when you were so involved in what you were doing that the rest of the world seemed to have disappeared. About 90% can associate such a state with one or more activis call it ‘being in the zone’ others a ‘heighted state of consciousnesses’ and psychologist call it ‘being in a flow’.

 

MAKING THE FLOW HAPPEN

The state of flow happens under very specific conditions – when we encounter a challenge that tests our skills, and yet our skills, one can become anxious. If skills exceed challenges, we usually become bored (like bright kids at school). Neither of these two cases results in flow. Flow is a universal experience, which has several important characteristics:

Ø Clarity of goals and immediate feedback on progress.

Ø Complete concentration on what one is doing at the present moment, with no room in one’s mind for any other information.

Ø Actions and awareness are merged.

Ø Loosing awareness of oneself is also a common experience

Ø Sense of control of what one is doing, with no worries about failure.     

Ø Transformation of time.

What is also interesting in flow is the almost total absence of emotions during the actual process. We experience an increase in positive emotions after the occurrence of flow. For example, TV is not designed for blind people, so ‘watching’ TV is for them associated with a challenge – having to build mental images of the characters in the absence of being able to see them. It is not possible to say for certain which activities are definitely flow- related and which are not. What for one person is ‘a piece of cake’ can be a challenge for another. Remember, it is not just the balance between challenge and skills that are necessary for flow - both have to be stretched. Flow may be a state of ultimate enjoyment, but it requires effort and work.

 

Flow is the ultimate optimal experience. Abhram Maslow

(humanistic psychologist) coined the term peak experience to describe the joyous and exciting moments in the lives of every individual. In these moments we experience more whole, integrated, awareness of ourselves and deeply happy. We have a sense of trancedence, awe, unity and meaningfulness in life.

 

MAKE BETTER CAREER CHOICES

 “THE BEST WAY TO PREDICT THE FUTURE
IS TO CREATE IT.” – Abraham Lincoln
 

Above lines makes us think about how puzzled we are in life to make our career choices. Yes, isn’t it true! That we are always in a state of mind where we decide something and end up with frustration and chaos. We do not know what to choose between so many careers choices. Our struggle starts in schools days when we enter grade 11 to choose between the streams as our future depends on that particular stream and hence we cannot return back once we start with the career. Parents start to pressurize their children as they see their Childs future. Some parents became successful to force their choices on their children whereas some do not. It is always better for parents to listen their child’s dreams for making better future choices instead of regretting afterwards.

The Indian school, the aim is not only to prepare the students academically but also at guiding them towards a rewarding and satisfying career. The school understands how imperative it is for students to identify their aptitudes, interests, career goals and aspirations in order to make well informed decisions regarding their higher education

Students are typically counseled in the following arenas –

Ø     Students are counseled about the various career options available to them.

Ø     Counseling enables the students to finalize a course and a country to study.

Ø     It enables the students to prepare for the various tests.

Ø     It assists in interpreting the deadlines related to admissions and tests.

Ø     It provides guidance about scholarship.

Career development helps in better vocational and overall development of individual. It also enables one to achieve success in professional as well as career goals. People who manage their careers in a positive manner are able to earn higher incomes; they can make job and educational choices. They are less stressed and able to cope with changes. They are well informed and successful.

Vocational guidance helps students to make decisions related to future career plans. It is assistance given to learners to choose, prepare for and progress in an occupation. It helps students to get right information about all aspects of vocation of their interests, to understand their own abilities and skills and helps them fit these to their chosen vocation.

Vocational development is essential for the individual. This is because it has been observed that the individual often changes his career path.

 It is better to always take help rather than burnout with making career choices.

COUNSELING FOR GROWING MINDS

 

A five year old child was abandoned by her parents and placed in a residential facility

for neglected and abused children. On one occasion, the caretaker of the institution became concerned when the child stayed up all night crying and vomiting. They brought her to the hospital the next morning. A pediatrician found nothing physically wrong with the child and referred her to me for mental health services. After introducing myself to the child, I asked her how she was feeling. She sat down put her head between her legs, and began to cry. It was most deep sorrowful sobbing I had ever heard. I leaned forward and gently touched her head, trying to comfort her. I could feel her pain. She looked up at me and appeared frightened and alone. I reached over and held her hand and told her I wanted to help her feel better. My heart reached out to her every day. She nodded in agreement. I worked with her in play therapy for several weeks. During that time, her depression gradually lifted.

Counseling is professional services provided to any individual who is facing a problem and needs help to overcome a problem, like the girl child mentioned above. This process of counseling helps individuals to find solutions to a problem and also helps in overall development of an individual.  Counseling is a process that involves two people – one is the counselor and other is a person wanting help. It enables a person to gain self understanding and develop self acceptance.

 Counseling is conducted with persons who are considered to be functioning well and those who are having more serious problems. It deals with wellness, personal growth, career and pathological concerns and meets the needs of a wide spectrum of people. They work in the areas that involve relationships. These areas include intra and interpersonal concerns related finding meaning and adjustment in such settings as schools, families and careers. Clients seem by counselors have developmental or situational concerns that require helped in regard to adjustment and remediation. Counselors focus on their client goals.

 Thus it involves both choice and change. In some cases ‘counseling is rehearsal for action’

How To Manage Stress ?

 

Stress is the response to events that challenge a person. It is normal part of life, everybody experiences stress in some way or the other. Stress is negative physical, mental, emotional, nervous system reaction to any event. The person concerned feels overwhelmed, unable to cope up with the perceived demands and events. Stress is positive if it helps with creativity and that push that we all need. It is negative, if results with feeling pressurized, forced or strained. It is the external pressure supplied on the individual and viewed as a personals response to a disturbance. Stress has become an inevitable companion today in all walks of life, whether he is an officer who’s getting late for office , a soldier standing guard on snow clad mountains , an overworked housewife, a farmer tilling the field under hot sun or a patient waiting endlessly for his turn to meet the doctor. Stress could originate from external environment or from the psyche of the individual.

 

Major sources of stress:

ü Death of loved one or painful divorce

ü events occurring at work

ü injury to ones child

ü failure in school or at work

ü traumatic events

 Stress effecting health:

ü By draining our recourses, indicating negative effect, and keeping us off physiologically, stress upsets our complex internal.

ü May interfere with efficient operation of our immune system - mechanism through which our bodies recognize and destroy potentially harmful substances such as bacteria, viruses and cancerous cells.

ü Chronic exposure to stress seems to reduce circulating levels of lymphocytes (white blood cells) and increase level of the hormone cortisol, a substance that affects of our immune system.    

 

WHAT WE WANT

 

Ask yourself if you would be happy to get what you want easily. You may be creating more drama than you need to be successful.

 

We as humans are born to see patterns in things. Where there are no innate patterns, we tend to project them like faces and animals in clouds. It is much easier to notice something if we are already expecting to see it. You get what you focus on. If you focus on what you want, you will find it; if all you focus on is getting away from what you don’t want, that is what you will find yourself returning to again and again.

There are two kinds of motivations --- of what you want and away from what you don’t want. While ‘away from’ motivation can be useful in administrating the kick that you needed to get started, it will give you inconsistent results. To help you keep going until you reach your goals, you need to ensure that your motivation is mainly focused on ‘towards.’

We all face a certain amount of challenge. Some people seem to attract difficulties even in quite straightforward situations where none previously existed. If you don't make the best use of time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want. Trust your intuition. You don’t need to explain or justify your feelings to anyone, just trust your own inner guidance, it knows the best.

LIVING THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

 “Life is beautiful” – this phase brings so many thoughts in our mind. For some it’s a question, for others it’s a statement. We are constantly speaking of positivity, attracting happiness and achieving goals. But what we overlook is the process how we attract it. This is called law of attraction. In life we experience many sufferings, losses, failures and become sad but we fail to see what we gained from them. Nothing comes for free everything costs. To achieve something we have to pay the price for it. To be successful we have to put in a lot of hard work, determination and sincerity and while doing this we come out stronger and confident. Many have heard – do your karma and things will happen automatically in life – what does that mean? It means when we are in the right path of achieving, we face many barriers and a lot of negativity. This should not shatter us. We should be firm, be patient and most important have faith in ourselves. Always remember your goals and remain focused for your ambitions. Do not let others hamper your decisions. Fight for your target. In that process you will learn a lot of lessons, which later in life we call them  experiences. When we step out from our parents protected shells we actually face the reality of life. We realise how harsh the world is. Everyone has to learn from their own experiences and have to fight their own battle.

Law of attraction is all about the kind of energy you surround yourself with the results you get from the universe in return. Energy can be both good and bad. It’s a powerful force for the good. But when it’s toxic it is dark and creates fear. Within seconds energy can change its form, from good to bad; light to demise, high to low and vice versa. All in all, energy is a proper balance between the negative yin and positive yang forces.

We are culturally conditioned to seek happiness from things outside of ourselves e.g. in our friends we have, the car we drive, the fashionable clothes we wear, the success we achieve, or the money we have in the bank. The majority of us keep waiting through each moment of our lives for our outer circumstances to make us happy: for better health, a more attractive body, a loving relationship, a better job etc. but in doing so we confuse the cause and effect of how things really work. It is happiness that generates our good experiences, not the other way round. The law of attraction wouldn’t work if we were any other way.

You are the architect of your own reality. The blueprints are in your hands and the design is being developed with each breath you take and each thought you think. Everything you experience comes from within your own being and the law of attraction is the medium that allows that to happen.

The law of attraction begins and ends with choosing the thoughts, feelings, attitudes and resonance that you embody every moment and every day. It’s a deeper practice than thinking positive thoughts; it’s a choice to keep re-choosing a positive attitude, a positive perspective, a positive feelings. One of the fastest ways to set the stage of law of attraction is to focus on any subject – no matter what it is – that consistently feels good to you. This creates a foundation of positive feelings that will support you attracting whatever it is you want.

Visualize what you want to attract in 3-D and brings as much passion and juice to it as you can. Then let it go, and give the whole intention up to the universe to decide to bring it to you in the best and highest way.

Living the law of attraction isn’t just about being positive; it’s about being present.  That means getting out of your head and into the lush expanse and abundance of everything around you: your very own co- creation. The universe (spirit, your higher self and god) can become the guide to finding the highest and deepest joy and bliss that a human can come to know.

To get the most of law of attraction, choose to be at peace with what is, instead of being at war with it. Whenever possible, be more present to your experience, instead of reacting to it. Transform the challenges of your current experience by letting go of your habituated negative perspectives about what is making you suffer – your complaints, criticisms, frustrations – and bring your focus to whatever positives there are around you. Don’t expect to turn around overnight. Keep it up, and commit to it. In doing so, you realize your resistance to better circumstances that are waiting in the wings to become your new reality. To master the law of attraction, hand over the reins to the powers that be and become a willing vessel to attract and actualize the highest good for yourself and for all those whose lives you touch.

Making real and lasting change in your life requires repetition, focus, and commitment. To help you really bring it all homes, use your journal to keep a record of what you are discovering and how your awareness is growing as you work. Write down your reflections and what you notice coming back to you in your life. Acknowledge your achievements and forgive your imperfections. And record every miracle that comes your way.

 What you’re focusing on to attract your life

You might focus on one thing for the whole 30 days. Whatever you choose, writing it at the top of the page will keep you focused.

What exercises you did that day

Keep a record of what you’re doing. It’ll keep you on track and boost your confidence too.

Your accomplishments, discoveries, healings

Write down every little thing you did well. Mention the times when you let go of negativity or chose to resonate with joy or other positive feelings. Record how you’re feeling and if the world is responding to you any differently.

What you are grateful for

Write down at least twenty things you’re grateful for. If it’s hard for you to come up with twenty things, then it’s especially important that you do this. E.g. the meal someone cooked for you. There is so much to be grateful for; take a moment to acknowledge them.

The day’s signs and miracles

Write down the result you are experiencing, big or small. Note down surprises and unexpected gifts, signs and encouragement along the way.

Working with the journal every day is a gift you give to yourself. It is an act to deep love to set your intentions, arrange your life, and make the commitment to bring yourself what you most   want in your life. It will focalize your internal thoughts, open your mind and heart to visually unlimited possibilities and help you realise your most fervent dreams and your deepest desires.

 Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be.