REVIEW ON LONELINESS, SYMPTOMS AND SOLUTIONS TO FIX IT.

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF IS GOOD
BUT OUTRANGING ANYONE
IS NOT GOOD AT ALL.
ONE IS BORN TO LIVE A LIFE
NOT TO SUFFER.

 

Loneliness is an unpleasant experience – of pain and fear.

It is described as social isolation. A state of distress or discomfort.

Symptoms of being lonely –

ü  Less happy, less satisfied

ü  More pessimistic, more depressed

ü  Tense , restless and bored

ü  Feeling of rejection

ü  Unhappiness

ü  Shy, less willing to take social risks.

ü  want to be alone all the time

ü  avoid interaction with people

ü  always feeling sad

ü  Depressed in some cases.

 

WHY THIS FEELING COMES OUT?

A person who is traumatized, his approach to life and people becomes different. Instead of encouraging the affected person, people become negative towards him and demotivate him all the time. The feeling becomes so intense that the patient finds normal things very irritating and irrelevant.

The feeling of unwantedness and of uselessness becomes intense. No one sees the suffering of the patient. The negative approach does not occur on its own, it has something related and connected to the past life he has gone through or may be still suffering. It becomes so much hard for that person to take it and wants to quit the life. There are high chances that the patient is suffering from depression or having suicidal thoughts.

Sometimes you never know that a person is lonely and is suffering so much within him as you always find him happy and playing around or working with passion. People can be alone without being lonely, or lonely in a crowd. The experience of loneliness is unpleasant and distressing.

Most common are changes in the person’s actual social relations that lead to relationships falling below the optimum level. The ending of the close relationship through death, divorce or breakup often leads to loneliness. Another example of loneliness is--  Physical separation from loved ones as when children leave home to go to college or when a family moves to a new community.

 

HOW TO FIX IT

Join a class – Whether it’s an art class, an exercise class, or a class at your local community college, joining a class automatically exposes you to a group of people who share at least one of your interests.

Get a pet – Pets, especially dogs and cats, offer so many benefits, and preventing loneliness is one of them. It can connect you with other people – walking a dog opens you up to a community of other dog walkers, and a cute dog on a leash tends to be a people magnet. Pets provide unconditional love, which can be great solution for loneliness.

Volunteer – becoming a volunteer for a cause you believe in can provide a same benefits as taking a class – meeting others, being part of a group, creating new experiences – and also brings a benefit of altruism, and can help you find more meaning in your life, both of which can bring greater happiness and life satisfaction, as well as decrease loneliness.

See a therapist - Research found people experience loneliness tend to feel more lonely than others when with other people, meaning that even when they are with other people, lonely people tend to keep their loneliness to a degree. Because of this, sometimes just “getting out there” and meeting other people isn’t enough. If this is the case for you, it may be a good idea to seek psychotherapy to help deal with feelings of loneliness, especially if you also feel symptoms of depression, such as loss of enjoyment doing things you used to enjoy. Cognitive behavioral therapy, can help you not only experience less loneliness but do more in your life to prevent loneliness, know that you are truly not alone, and there are many things you can do to feel more connected.

 

Being lonely is not a disorder, but if persists for long period becomes a problem for our mental well being. Its better to fix it on time rather than hold it for rest of your life. Life is a roller coster ride , you will experience many emotions but the best one is being happy. Try to mantain it and handle yourself with care.

PURPOSE OF LIFE

 

Once you start making the effort to “wake yourself up” that is being more mindful in your activities – you suddenly starts appreciating life a lot more – Robert - Biswas - Diener

 

A purpose consists of the central motivating aims of your life – the reason you get up in the morning. Purpose can guide life decisions, influence behavior, shape goals, offer a sense of direction and create meaning. For some people work is connected to vocation – meaningful satisfying work. Feeling that one’s life is significant, comprehensible or purposeful may be necessary for human psychology functioning.

In Indian mythology too Lord SHIVA said that every individual is born with a purpose in his/her life and that purpose has to be lived by him. The purpose of life is to understand the science of the self and get liberation from the cycle of birth and death. Every day we make choices and perform activities that we hope will bring us happiness and prevent distress. This is the basic goal of life by which we live.

We are spiritual beings who have taken physical form to form a purpose. Everyone has a special purpose in life – a unique gift or special talent to give to others and to every unique talent there are also unique needs. When we bend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our spirit. This is the goal of all goals.

Three components to the purpose of life:

Purpose of life implies our unique destiny, our place in the cosmic plan. One needs to have a vision to get success in life. Then we arrive at biggest mystery – what is meaning of our lives in the scheme of universe?  We know we have become part of cosmic plan when the universe upholds and supports us. Every person is never ending project of the universe.

Some famous thinkers of psychology also defined their meaning of life. Here is what they defined life as -

Ellis: “He took personal responsibility for your life. He stated that the best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realise that you control your own destiny.” The concept is often referred to as having internal locus of control. It refers to whether you see events in  your life as outside of your control or whether you feel that your actions can influence your destiny. People who have an internal locus of control often feel helpless, powerless and unmotivated to make changes in their lives.

 Rogers: He stated that “the good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.” Have you ever been so focused on achieving a goal that you totally forgot to enjoy the journey itself ? Instead of focusing on the things that you think will ultimately lead to living a good life – having a big house, driving a nice car and going on exotic vacations, focus your attention on the everyday good things in your life. The things you learn, the family and friends you share your life with, the things that bring you happiness are the greatest indicators of happy, fulfilled life.

 Abraham Maslow:  If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.Maslow has his own theory of hierarchy of needs and he explained people life according to these needs. He explained the goal of the people is to achieve heights by reaching the state of self actualization. Individual should not think of not being capable of something they once dreamt of and stop, one should always try  their highest potential to reach that goal to feel the epitome of happiness.

 Carl G. Jung: “Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning, if it were not balanced by sadness.” So happiness and sadness are both part of our lives, if you will always be happy without any struggles and ladders in your path life will be boring. You need to achieve what you want for the ultimate happiness and success. 

 Different individuals have their own meaning of life. Some are spiritually connected, others are mentally. One has to find their own way to live their purpose and walk towards wisdom.

 

 

 

ANXIETY

 

We speak about people throwing their tantrums in the form of being loud and trying to be dominant towards others and in that process they often end up giving such unpleasant remarks that it becomes intolerant for their near ones resulting in fights. We talk about anxiety which has become a common name in the dictionary of people and unfortunately that is true. A little of anxiety is good but when we are not able to handle it and it prolongs then it is a matter of concern for us.

Anxiety is uneasy, fearful feeling of constant worry and tension. It has become so common that we won’t even realise that it has become a part of our daily lives. Some of the common anxiety symptoms are – excessive worry, fatigue and sweating, lack of concentration, increased heart rate, insomnia, restlessness, racing thoughts, trembling, weakness, tiredness. A little anxiety can be adaptive – if you weren’t anxious about exam, you may not have been motivated to study as much as you needed.

Anxiety disorders included a group of disorders in which anxiety either is a main symptom or is experienced certain maladaptive behaviors. There are four types of symptoms of anxiety – physiological or somatic symptoms, cognitive symptoms, behavioral symptoms, emotional symptoms. One form of anxiety disorder is gernalised anxiety disorder in which people experience a constant sense of tension and dread. They may be unable to relax or sleep well, and experience constant fatigue, headaches, dizziness and rapid heart rate. They may continually worry about potential problems and have difficulty concentrating or making decisions. Other anxiety disorders like phobias, panic disorders, obsessive compulsive disorders are focused anxiety.

Even seen in students, during exams a little of stress is good which makes them sit study in concentration but when it becomes too much that one cannot handle its effect then it becomes trouble. Most of students are seen having stage fear or performing in front of audience. This form of fear is known as Aroga phobia. This type of fear is common but not negligible. Speaking in front of public also cause panic as for them it is the most difficult talk. Students with this problem in school avoid participating in assemblies, in any activity or function. These students are also seen avoiding reading in class or when asked by teachers they are in great fear and end up ruining things. In obsessive compulsive disorder – there is either obsession or compulsion. For example, persons suffering from OCD he has a compulsive behavior of cleanliness it will be his habit to take bath again and again and clean his surroundings , changing bed sheet twice or thrice a day, taking too long to clean himself in bathroom and still not satisfied , changing clothes many times in a day. Obsession of cleanliness leads to cleanliness compulsive behavior of repeatedly taking bath or cleaning surroundings.

These common external factors can cause anxiety:

·                    Stress at work, school, personal relationship, financial stress

·                    Stress from an emotional trauma such as the death of a loved one.

·                    Stress from serious medical illness.

·                    Side effects of medication

WHAT IS MENTAL HEALTH

 

      

    “THE ONLY JOURNEY IS

     THE JOURNEY WITHIN”

 

           

 MENTAL HEALTH

Mental Health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, related to others, and make choices. It is important in every stage of life from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. Mental health affects daily living, relationships and physical health. Mental health is a state of well being in which individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.

       

    5 components of mental health are

ü  Ability to enjoy life

ü  Resilience

ü  Balance

ü  Self Actualization

ü  Flexibility

STIGMA

Stigma is when someone sees you in a negative way because of your mental illness.

Discrimination is when someone treats you in a negative way because of your medical illness.

Social stigma and discrimination can make mental health problems worse and stop the person from getting help they need.

Listen to the person.

Empathize with that person.

लोग क्या कहेगे…forget what people say. Listen to what is right.

Repetitive thoughts – how to come out?

ü  Share your thoughts to your closed ones

ü  Take professional help because they wont judge you

ü  Stay busy

ü  Drink water- 1L /20 kgs

ü  Eat Bananas

ü  Exercise , walk , dance

ü  Do something to elevate your mood. Occupy yourself with something.

ü  Don’t use too much of your mobile phones

ü  Smile more often

ü  Slow deep breathing always helps

ü  Live in gratitude

ü  There is no stigma – talk with someone.

 

MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESS

 

Mental health illness is also called mental disorders. A person gets irritated, and disturbed and always aggressive.  His behavior or emotions have changes. He cannot make his own choices and decisions. When you cannot deal with challenges, deal with stressors. That is the time you need to consult your psychiatrist. Mental illness is associated with distress or problems functioning in social, work or family activities. Mental illness is something one should not be ashamed of. It is like any other disease like diabetes or heart problem. It is treatable and one should talk about it.

 

IMPORTANCE OF COMMUNICATION

Communication has a key role in mental health recovery. You might have heard from many social media expertise or webinars talking to talk about it and speak out what is inside you. What people do is they hide their insecurities and feelings instead of fighting with them. They keep it within themselves and keep on collecting things and keep it in their mind which at the end gets overloaded with lots of negativity and insecurities that  lead to problems arising in the form of extreme behavior changes and cutting themselves  out from the society. A person starts living in isolation and avoids communication in search of peace but unfortunately it gets worse and is of no help to the patient. This leads to irritability, loneliness, aggression or crying. A person won’t stop thinking about the past or about the things which he started hiding from himself.

As a therapist the key role of a therapy is communication with a client. A therapist starts building a friendly relationship with the client so that he starts trusting the therapist and speak his heart out. It is the work of the therapist to see that the client won’t resist in speaking to her and talk to her like a true friend.

 

WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT – PHYSICAL/ MENTAL HEALTH?

 

In terms of health both are equally important. But why doctors ask you to consult a counselor when you have any physical health issue? Why is it that you feel so insecure and full of fear before your surgery of any of your body parts or why is it that during your treatment of cancer you are referred to consult counselor by your oncologist or radiologist. It is because when you are going through any of these issues to deal with your health patients mind is not prepared with the strong treatment he is going through. He starts feeling hopeless and helpless. His mind just thinks about all the negative outcomes coming his way. The role of a therapist or a counselor is to empathize with the patient and bring positivity and hope to deal with his treatment. When you are positively strong with your treatment it works as a medicine to you. The patient responds with the treatment very well and there are more chances for him to get well and healthy. The willingness to live makes the patient respond to the treatment. This is very important and this is what a counselor’s role is to make him fight with the disease through her therapies.

When a person is mentally strong he can fight with any difficulties in his life whether it is physical or psychological.

 

CORONAVIRUS SURVIVING THE LOOMING HEALTH CRISES

During lockdown days we witnessed so many problems taking place in people’s lives. Social isolation, lack of exercise, financial uncertainty will almost certainly lead to deteriorating mental health around the world. But you can take steps to soften the blow.

ü  From today until this is over, you have a new god and his name is ‘ROUTINE’.

ü  Build and repair relationships; you have no excuse now.

ü  Focus on the basics of health and wellness.

ü  Remember you are not alone.

 

REHABILITATION OF THE MENTALLY ILL

Rehabilitation of the mentally ill is necessary to improve their quality of life once their active symptoms are reduced.

 

The aim of rehabilitation is to empower the patient to become a productive member of society to the extent possible. In rehabilitation the patients are given occupational therapy, social skills training, and vocational therapy. In occupational therapy, the patients are taught skills training such as candle making, paper bag making and weaving to help them to form a work discipline. Social skills training help the patient to develop interpersonal skills through role play imitation and instruction. The objective is to teach the patient to function in a social group. Cognitive retraining is given to improve the basic cognitive functions. After the patients improve sufficiently, vocational training is given wherein the patient is helped to gain skills necessary to undertake productive employment.